Comedian Chris D’Elia returned on camera after eight months after he was accused of multiple sexual misconducts. The 40-year-old comedian uploaded a YouTube video on Feb. 19 and admitted his attitude and behavior were wrong.

“I know it looks bad,” said D’Elia, who was accused of grooming and pursuing girls underage and also exposing himself to many women. While he admitted having an unhealthy relationship, he noted that all his relationship was “consensual and legal,” Vulture reported.

“What I have come to understand is, this was always about sex to me. My life was — I mean sex, it controlled my life,” the comedian, who has not been criminally or civilly charged, said in the video. “It was the focus. It was my focus all the time. And I had a problem, and I do have a problem… I need to do work on that.”

“I can just do a show and then have sex. Or roll into a city and look in my inbox and start writing,” he said of his previous attitude. “I would get at least 50 messages after a show each city a night. And I would reply to all of them. And I thought in my mind that being straight-up with these women was the right thing to do. I’d say ‘hey, come to my hotel room and let’s have sex. Let’s make out. Let’s do this, let’s do that.’ And that was what I thought was right.”

D’Elia said that he now realizes he was “treating sex like it’s casual and being flippant with people.”

“And that’s not the guy I want to be, it’s not okay, and I’m sorry for that,” he said. “It makes me feel shameful and it makes me feel bad,” People reported.

D’Elia also disclosed that he cheated on his current fiancée.

“And this is my dream girl, this is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life, and even that wouldn’t stop what I was doing,” he said, adding that he has been “doing the work” to be better. The comedian was first accused of “grooming” underage girls online in June 2020 with multiple women coming forward. However, he denied engaging knowingly with minors.